Life is a lot like TransRockies...

I skimmed over the last few blogs written at least a year before entering Pharmacy School.  After the celebrations of making it in, I soon realized the real celebrations will be on making it out.  Alive.

Life has been, well let us say akin to purgatory.  After passing my first semester, but only by a narrow margin, I soon realized that my work-life balance approach to life would have to be put on hold.  Sundays with Jeremy have turned in to a few hours of precious time - usually on our bikes so I can kill two birds with one stone.  Yes, I just called my husband a bird.  Possibly a Tit Mouse.  They are pretty cute birds.

I am now coming out of midterms.  Only two exams left, a lab report, a case study and two labs next week, but all that is left is manageable.  Unlike the last few weeks.

When Jeremy and I did TransRockies back in 2010, I vividly remember every excruciating moment of climbing up and over the Continental Divide, pushing my bike up, up and over, grateful for every piece of carbon and XT component.  Pharmacy school is like that.  I put my head down and work.  Every once in a while during TransRockies I would reward myself with a bite of a Cliff Bar, a moment to take in the view and the promise of the proverbial summit and that I would stand there, for as long as I wanted to bask in the accomplishment of 3 hours pushing uphill.  And I did.  I am so grateful for the little things these days.  A tea date with a good friend, my mom's Roladden, an impromptu Hip Concert, a ride taken on stolen time through gorgeous single track with my favourite person.  It is these moments that get me through.  And also, the promise of the proverbial summit.  But not to dwell on that summit, for like a watched kettle, I know it will take so much longer to come to fruition if I do nothing else but wait for its arrival.  In the meantime, I have learned so much from my bike racing.  Training and studying need to happen every day.  Rewards are important.  There will be bad days, but dwelling on them dilutes the good ones.  Rest days are life savers.  And putting one foot in front of the other, is the only way to make it to the finish line.

the proverbial summit

the friends that keep me smiling

Better with makeup

Kale.  A vegetable I endure, because I know it's packed with vitamins and is good for me.  But, the taste has always left a little to be desired.  A couple of weeks ago, my good friend KellyB had me over for what is always a tasty dinner.  On the menu, kale.  It was fantastic. Dressed up with lime and mint, it took away all of the bitter taste that has put kale on the bottom of my vegetable list.  With this recipe, it's moved to the top.  I've even planted some mint in my garden just for this recipe. Here's my rendition.  Enjoy...
3 (approx) cups chopped kale
1tbsp fresh mint
1 tbsp good quality olive oil
2 tbsp lime (I used concentrate)
Sea salt to taste

Steam kale until it is has just turned from crunchy to soft.  Toss with mint lime evoo and salt.  Enjoy!

this post has nothing to do with bicycles

Perhaps I should know better than to tell my dad that I'm bored.  But that is where this dream begins.  I think there can be nothing worse for any father to see their daughter partially unemployed, wasting talent, living pay cheque to pay cheque and then to hear that she's bored.  But some time in March, 2011 over one of our precious, yet rare dinners together, he asked me how I was doing.  I looked him in the eyes and replied: 'Bored'.  

And then he offered me an incredible gift.  The chance to go back to school and do it all again to become a Pharmacist.  A career that my dad always thought would fit me to a tee: the right balance of people skills, independent work, and academic ability, plus a chance to own my own business and make a good wage.  I don't know why I shunned this idea when I originally made these decisions back in my teens.  Yes I do.  Because when you're 18, you don't listen to your parents.

June 28, 2012.  As I wrote the date on the top of my paper, I realized that while I live out my dream, perhaps for many this would be their nightmare.  35 years old and writing my Organic Chemistry Final.  For me, a dream come true.  A chance to start over.  And, I even found Organic Chemistry to be fun, I think in the same way some people enjoy CrossWords.  I never got that. 

I can't say getting started has been easy.  This is a long road I'm heading down.  I need 6 Undergraduate Chemistry courses before I can even apply to Pharmacy.  I began with doing an online course.  Athabasca University promptly sent me a text book and the email address of my tutor.  Without much direction, or assistance from Athabasca, it took me 6 months to get through the course.  And while, I've gotten over the feeling of being too old to be in school, I also have a goal to be a licensed Pharmacist by 40.  So, with time in mind, I have started classes at U of T.  I will finish all the pre-requisites by December 2012 and apply for entry into Pharmacy School for September 2013.

What I can say, is that these days, I am certainly not bored.  Life feels better.  I am full of hope and optimism and of belief that anything is possible.

Athabasca 'home lab'.  I'm sure all the chemicals were

 perfectly safe to be on our dining room table.

Simmons Family, parasite-free in 2012

O-Cup #1 this morning.  And, just like everyone else posting on Facebook,  I am NERVOUS.  To calm myself down, I always try to think about what is making me the most anxious and focus on how I can control whatever that is.  Today, it is that after a season away from racing, I'm not really sure where to stand in the start pen.  I'm nervous that after a winter of training, I'm still not back to where I want to be.

But, then I looked in the mirror while getting ready and saw a completely different girl than the one who stared back at me last year.  I'm about 10 pounds heavier, and in my humble opinion, those 10 pounds look good.  My eyes and skin look brighter and I don't have to slather on make-up to erase the dark circles under my eyes.  So, wherever I end up this morning I will know that I have reached the goal that Jeremy set out for me last year:  Simmons Family, parasite-free in 2012.

4th annual Wine, Cheese and Women

Calling all women out there who like to ride bicycles (or would like to ride bicycles).  We are hosting a Wine and Cheese night at the Trek Store Barrie on Monday, April 16th from 6:30 - 8pm.  This will be a great chance to meet other female cyclists and find out more about the Trek Women program: volunteer-led cycling instruction by women for women.

For more info, visit: Trek Women of Barrie and Toronto or call (705) 733-0027

Mountain Biking Basics: a 2 day workshop and overnight retreat, just for women

Mountain Biking Basics: 

a 2 day workshop and overnight retreat, just for women 

Friday, June 15- Sunday, June 17, 2012 in Sudbury, ON 

Attracted to mountain biking, but kind of scared off by the fear factor?   Treat yourself this spring with quality instruction and coaching, to set yourself up for a full summer of riding more confidently. This workshop will take absolute beginners as well as novice female riders the next step to enjoy trail riding and nail down all the basics!  As a women-only clinic, the atmosphere and teaching style will be fun, encouraging, and maybe slightly outrageous once we all get more comfortable "in the saddle." 

All meals from Wine and Cheese on arrival Friday night to Sunday Lunch are provided as well as Friday and Saturday night accommodation at a rustic retreat with cabins.  After a day on the trails, enjoy the facilities at the retreat which include 400 waterfront acres with wood burning sauna, access to canoes and swimming. 

The clinic will be taught by Tammy Simmons, a Level 1 NCCP Mountain Bike Instructor who has instructed for Wild Women, Hardwood Ski and Bike and runs popular Women's Only clinics for the Trek Store of Barrie and Toronto. 

Cost: $399 (early bird rate of $379 – sign up by April 30th ) + hst 

All participants will receive a complementary membership to the Trek Women program.  This program allows members to attend (for no additional cost) road and mountain bike clinics throughout the 2012 season offered in the Barrie and Toronto area ($40 value).  For more information visit http://www.trekwomen.blogspot.ca/ 


Sign - up: contact Tammy Simmons (tammyjrobinson "at" hotmail "dot" com)

Note: All participants must bring a mountain bike in good working order and wear a helmet.  If you are interested in joining the clinic, but do not have a mountain bike please contact us.  Depending on availability, a bike may be arranged. 

Women’s Weekend Itinerary 

  

    

Arrive in Nairn Centre on Friday evening and start the weekend off right with a glass of wine and snacks and a chance to meet your fellow course mates and instructor.  On Saturday morning, after a good breakfast you will be taught the basics of mountain biking.  You will learn body-bike separation, proper braking, pedalling and gearing, and how to ride over and around small obstacles.  After lunch, we will head to the Naughton Trails for the first trail ride of the weekend, where you will put your new skills to use.  Head back to the cabins after a fun-filled day to enjoy a hearty and well earned dinner, relax in the wood burning sauna, swim in the lake to cool off, take out a canoe or just put your feet up. 

On Sunday, we will head back to the Naughton Trails to further add to your biking skills.  Lunch will be provided at the trails and then we will say our goodbyes, but not before our infamous awards ceremony and final competition for the Nairn Cup.  What’s the Nairn Cup you may be asking… join us on June 15-17th  to find out. 

More About your instructor… 

Tammy Simmons first started Mountain Biking in 1999 and learned to ride on Vancouver’s infamous North Shore trails.  She vividly remembers her first trail biking experience as a scary one in which her friends led her down Grouse Mountain’s steep trails.  She spent the afternoon doing much more hike-a-bike than riding. 

Today, Tammy enjoys teaching others to Mountain Bike.  But unlike her own first experience, she believes that learning to Mountain Bike should not be a scary one and enjoys seeing her participants push their boundaries while learning new skills in a supportive environment.  Tammy has instructed for Wild Women, Hardwood Ski and Bike and runs popular Women’s Only clinics for the Trek Store of Barrie and Toronto.  Tammy also races in the Master Expert Category at Canada and Ontario Cups.  Her race highlights have included first in age category at Paris to Ancaster and completing TransRockies, a 7-day race through the Rocky Mountains. 

   

no boys allowed - JoyRide 150

My friend Hannah gives the best hugs.  They sum up exactly what it means to feel the comraderie of women.  She puts herself out there, arms open wide, sending out her love without expecting anything in return.  And if you return that hug... seriously it's magic.  And no, I won't be leaving Jeremy for Hannah.

When my parents would come to visit me at Boarding School or University, I was never wearing my own clothes.  Cause girls share.  It's a mystery that my dad still talks about and something my mom doesn't even consider. Because when I'm visiting my mom, chances are that I'm wearing her new ski jacket and she has on my new Lululemons.

What I'm trying to get at here is that there is a kinship among women that I don't expect boys to understand, just as there is bonding among males that I never will.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of coaching at Joyride 150s Second Annual Women's Weekend.  Charlotte and I led sessions on the XC Track to women of all abilities.  When girls learn without boys, something different happens.  I'm not sure what it is, but there's more love, more trying, more learning.  High fives are replaced with squeals, okay there are still high fives, but no one is trying to hide the fact that what they are trying to do is making them scared.  Knowing that the woman beside you is just as scared as you are somehow validates trying the skill in the first place, it turns fear to focus and determination and gives extra motivation if she gets it before you do.  Because, while there is love, there is competition too.

At noon, the park flooded with the general public and returned to its male dominated status.  And I realized at that moment, that as a beginner how intimidating that atmosphere would be.  So a huge thanks to JoyRide for closing their doors this weekend to boys and opening up the sport to a few new gals!

Yog-aaaah

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”  Goethe/unknown

And so, the last yoga class of 2011 began: Saturday morning in a packed room, I'm wondering how any of us will get into our yoga poses without punching our neighbors.  "2012", Anne, the owner of Ann Green Yoga tells us "is the year of being true to ourselves" and as I reflect back on my last few years, I hope this rings true for me.  If 2011 was the year of self-discovery and healing, 2012 could be the year of moving forward and being true to those discoveries.

The room gets warm quickly as Ann skillfully directs us through a flow of poses that confines us to our mat spaces and away from our neighbors.  I am lost in deep breathing and relaxation when I hear her ask us to now lift our arms off the mat.  I become aware that I'm in an awkward, contorted pose.  I hesitate.  I don't think anyone else has obeyed her orders either, as she has to repeat herself.  I'm fairly certain that if I do what she says, I'll end up toppling to the ground in a not very graceful, or yogic way. Finally, she says: 'Do it; there are more difficult things in your life than airplane pose.  You can do this'.  

Airplane pose?  Well, that's not that hard.  I lift up my arms.  There is no going back, I will either land in a heap on the ground, or this will work out.  I find myself balanced perfectly over my right leg.  I don't topple over.  The class moves on.

As the class finishes and for the rest of the day, I can't help but think how hard it is to move to the next adventure sometimes.  Into what seems like the incredible unknown, especially when the current adventure, like our contorted yoga pose, feels so difficult.  Is the trick merely identifying what is next and then moving into it without hesitation?  Like Goethe wrote: 'the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too'.  

I wish you all the best for 2012 and the courage to lift your hands off the mat to get to your next adventure, even when your current predicament is feeling precarious.  Because truly, that may be just the right moment to move on.  Namaste.

school

For me, going to school was always about becoming better.  Moving towards becoming an expert in what I was studying.  In part, this was encouraged by my parents who instilled the values of anything worth doing is worth doing well and partly due to being adept at learning new things and the satisfaction it brought.

As a teacher, I am more often than not frustrated by students who care little about their education.  And, as I get to know some of these students better, I do side with them.  A little.  I can't imagine being 16 years old and still sitting in math class when math beyond simple numeracy will have no benefit to my career.  For some of these students, the courses they are forced to take to earn their coveted high school diplomas are subjects that completely elude them.  I can't imagine sitting there, struggling to learn.  Until freedom at age 18.

And while part of me gets so angry that many students in high schools throw their gift of education away, what really makes me angry is when programs that honour gifted students are shut down.  I stumbled across the following video made by students from Peterborough Collegiate Vocational Institute.  Their school, along with arts program for gifted performers is being closed down.  The artist whose song they are singing, claims she cried when she heard their rendition, sung in the stair well of the soon to be closed school.  I truly don't understand how our society and education system can support imprisoning students in classes they don't want to take, throwing money at programs to, at any cost, find alternatives to get students credits they don't want or need for their careers, but close down a school and program that students do want.  A program that fosters talents and allowed the creation of this....

lost and found

In my last post I complained about hating struggling at the back of group rides.  I figured what better way to get over this than to crash Watson's group ride in the Copeland today.  I put a smile on my face and played follow the leader.  Even though, Watson is mad at me for something, he kept the pace really easy (easy for him, hard for me :)  and somehow managed to defy physics, putting together a loop that involved lots of downhill without much up.  I had a blast riding with the boys, who also included Tristan and Jeremy.  Unfortunately, Parker forgot to set his alarm clock - definitely one of the most fun rides I've done this season.  Something to be said about swallowing your pride, as I realize I've missed out on lots of fun rides for fear of being the weak link.

Got home and it was time for some chores...

The garbage men are going to hate us - 28 bags of leaves!!!  

The Wheel of Fortune

'The Wheel of Fortune,' I say.  'It is your card: you drew it....  It tells us that we all only want victory.  We all want to triumph.  But we all have to learn to endure what comes.  We have to learn to treat misfortune and great fortune with indifference.  That is wisdom.' ~ Philippa Gregory

I haven't written much about my races this year.  Partly because there haven't been many to speak of.  Mostly because I've been greatly disappointed in my performance.  And yes, I did have a sizable worm swimming around in my guts this year, but before I knew that, I found myself struggling to finish a race and not wanting to talk about it afterwards.

So the worm is gone, and I'm back to training.  And my fitness is every so slowly returning.  I did my last race of the season at Hardwood last weekend.  My goal was to stay with the pack for as long as humanly possible.  100 metres after the start I began moving backwards and spent the rest of the race riding solo at the back.  

I, like most people I am sure, hate losing.  I don't even like going out on a group ride and being last up a hill or struggling at the back.  I find myself anxiously awaiting the return of speed and I can't help thinking that just over a year ago, I was always vying for a spot on the podium.

It is time for me to look at my riding with some indifference.  In the Wheel of Fortune, maybe I am climbing up to the top again, but at the moment I am somewhere near the bottom.  Perhaps the key to indifference is enjoying the ride on the entire wheel, for all of its ups and downs and even when going sideways.  I think that may be the only way for me to stay in the game.

above: struggling to hold on

 below: riding solo

  

stubborn

I spent the first 1.5 years of my life with a displaced hip.  It wasn't until I started learning to walk that my parents realized something was wrong.  Stubborn, I walked anyways.  Without a voice yet, it was easy for them to pull me to the doctors office without protest.  Turns out it was something that should have been caught at birth.  6 months in a cast and 2 surgeries later, one without anesthetic as I was too young to undergo the drugs again, my hip was back in place.

There's something about those years that has shaped the way I deal with pain.  I suffered for a year with a parasite, most of my life with a fairly severe gluten allergy, finished the Squeezer with a torn calf, Day 5 and 7 of TransRockies with Campylobacter and on Saturday rode Radical and on Monday half the Brewery to Brewery with a well sprained hand.

It's a combination of being stubborn, a reasonably high pain threshold and not wanting to miss out on something potentially fun.  I finally let my mom drag me to the hospital after Thanksgiving Dinner was successfully served.  We left before desert in the hopes of beating the post-Thanksgiving Dinner rush.  Successful, we were in and out of RVH within 1.5 hours.  Not broken, therefore I would ride the next day despite my mom's protests.

I didn't really notice the pain until we arrived in Creemore.  After a chat with Jeremy, I decided to give in and call my mom to pick me up.  At least I'd gotten to enjoy the most beautiful weather for our annual ride to date.  It also elicited the biggest turnout for my favorite ride of the season.

I don't regret my decision to ride one bit, even though my puffy hand begs to differ.  Perhaps one of these days, I'll be willing to miss out and listen to my body.  But that day was not yesterday.

amazing turnout and beautiful weather for the 8th annual Thanksgiving Brewery to Brewery ride

my Knight in Shining Spandex

It just seemed too cold to warm up.  With promises of a neutral start, I mostly skipped the warmup in favour of more time in my down jacket and toque.  I did a little spin with Spak and Jeremy with a couple of sprints thrown in to try to wake up the legs, okay, one of those sprints was to get away from some pretty scary looking sea gulls.

Then, the neutral start for Tour de King was off... I fully blame myself for not knowing that it was only 400m of neutral start, before the race started on a sharp right hander onto a steep grassy hill that felt like being woken up by a bucket full of cold water.  The next thing I know, I was busting out my well honed track standing skills waiting to get into the single track and then rode an easy pace behind what seemed like hundreds of cross bikes.  Got to the road and watched the cross bikes speed away.  I put my head down and kept going.

Got to the King Trails and cherished my solo time.  Finally, a chance to reap the benefits of being on a mountain bike.  Caught back up to the folks on cross bikes near the end of the trail.  Knowing that was the last bit of single track, I tried to pick off a few of them before I got to the road in the hopes of ending on the road section amidst some sort of pack.  Came through to the parking lot to see Jeremy who had pulled from his race due to some sort of fiasco with his contact lenses.

He was waiting for me to finish the race with.  I was so happy to see him, I think I even promised that he doesn't have to cook dinner this Wednesday.  I think I was also delirious at that point.  Oh well, a promise is a promise (ahem, Watson).  Good to have someone to draft off for the rest of the race and some motivation to keep the effort up - I convinced myself that he would leave me behind if he got cold from not having to work hard enough.

Crossed the line and put on every bit of clothing I had.  Then, enjoyed a great afternoon catching up with friends and a great barbeque after another amazing Chico event.

photo courtesy Jacqueline Shaver

I don't really hate my husband - Fall Epic 8 Hour

I love my husband.  But, there were several hours yesterday where love turned to hatred.  Usually, I am the one pushing him to do races.  I even convinced him that TransRockies would be a better honeymoon than a few weeks in France riding bicycles and drinking good wine.

So, yesterday was his day.  He proposed we ride the 8 hour tag, which I went along with.  It wasn't until the day before that I realized my longest ride this summer has been more in the 2 hour range.  He also decided that instead of the classic he goes, I go, he goes, etc., that he would bust out a fast first lap and then pass off to me to ride 3-4 hours and then he would finish the day.  Not the fastest way to complete an 8 hour, but less painful than the alternative stop/start.

As my hours on the bike wore on and grumpiness settled in, I grumbled something about there being a 'tag' in tag-team as I went by the AWI tent.  But, Jeremy was there each lap to offer some yelling and encouragement that kept me riding my fastest.  And, while I proclaimed my hatred of him for 'making me do this' while out on my last lap, it is not true.  Jeremy is an amazing husband, who I love very much.  I am glad he pushed me to do this race, as I impressed myself by pulling off pretty consistent lap times and after his encouragement was even able to make my last one, one of the fastest.

After my laps were over, I thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon recovering, eating and socializing.  Jeremy moved us up in the standings from 8th to 6th place, blowing himself up pretty good in the process.  And, I would do the race again, glady.  But, don't tell him that.  For once, Jeremy deserved a day where I go along with his ideas ;)

no pics from the 8 hour, but the above are a somewhat comical sequence of Jeremy rescuing me and my bike from a fairly deep and fast moving river during last year's TransRockies.

Provincials

As a kid growing up with a rather strict British dad, there were several rules to be followed.  Eat with your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right, always say Thank You, speak just loud enough so that those around you can hear, but you don't disturb other conversations.  The list goes on, but those are the good ones that I remember and that I still follow to this day.  There is one rule, however that has become a part of my adult life that I broke yesterday: you never enter a competition you haven't prepared for.

I'll never forget my dad pulling me from a skating competition.  I was 10 years old and I had starting slacking at practices.  The night before a meet my dad told me I wasn't competing.  "Start practicing more and I'll let you enter the next one", he told me in his to the point, no nonsense, don't argue with me fashion.  It was a good lesson.  One that made me a better competitor and made me not just try my best on game day, but in practices too.

Yesterday I raced provincials.  I was nowhere close to ready.  Rides since I've felt better have been completely unstructured and I knew I was slow.  But, I needed to get back out there.  I needed to feel what it was like to feel like a hero for 30 minutes and like death for an hour.  I needed the feeling of digging deeper for any amount of energy you have left to finish the race.  So, I broke the rule that has governed my competitive life since childhood, I swallowed my pride knowing that I would not be a contender.  I lost the race in a spectacular fashion.  But, it felt so good to be back.

Big thanks to all the spectators cheering for me, even though the next girl was 10 minutes ahead of me.  I even had some cheers from my fellow racers while out on the course.  You guys rock!  Thanks for welcoming me back in such a warm fashion.  Standing in the start pen with you felt like coming home.  And lastly, an enormous Thank You to Caleb for the perfect feed.

I have two racing friends that were also out this year.  I hope you are better soon and back out there.  We miss you!

slower than in races past on the uphills

at least going down is just as fast :)

Good things do come in small packages

It is September and my race season has really just begun.  Finally healthy, I am super excited to race my bike.  In my illness I lost 12 pounds and I joke that 6 pounds came from my left leg and the other 6 came from my right.  But, in all seriousness - I think at least a couple of pounds came off my calves, glutes and biceps :)

So, eager to race and test my new parasite-free fitness I have done a few Wednesday night races at Hardwood. The series came to a close all too soon last week, so Jeremy and I decided to venture down to the King trails for their weekly series.

The race has a real small town feel.  After chatting with Matt P and Sean, who create a unique course each week through fast and fun flowy single track with at least one hill to remind you that you need to ride hills more often, we were soon swept up by one of the regular racers who took us on a tour of the trail.

The race went off at 6:45pm and I got lined up next to a decent sized field of women.  They ranged in experience from beginner to fast and I soon realized I would have to work to have a decent race.  After two laps of the course, I crossed the line in 4th.  In true small town fashion, Jeremy and I were embraced by our new comrades and spent a good 45 minutes after the race chatting.

We'll be back there for the last race of their season next week.  Promises of a post-ride trip to the pub, draw prizes, fun trails and great folks... looking forward to it!  You should come too.  Directions and info at: www.kingweeklyseries.com

Trek Women at Buckwallow

The Trek Women had our last ride at Buckwallow.  We had a small, but incredibly keen group in attendance.  Highlight of the day was when I went down a section of trail and told the ladies if they wanted a challenge to follow me, otherwise stay to the right.  I looked back and not only did everyone follow, but everyone cleared the section.  Personal highlight was clearing all of Bear Bluff for the first time.  Good to ride with some strong females, as sometimes my ego is all that's needed to step up my game and not wuss out on the rocks : )

Thanks Eden for the pics...

all smiles as the rain begins just as we finish our ride

being the only novice, Kim scored a private lesson with Erica

Sessioning some rocks

For sale: uber light race wheels - SOLD!

I am selling a set of 26" wheels.  We (Jeremy) built them last year and I have only ridden them a few times.  $675.  Regular retail over $1100
contact: tammyjrobinson at hotmail.com

SRAM XO cassette

Stans rims

WTB Laser Disc Lite hubs